Sunday, January 29, 2012

Scumbag Brain vs Scumbag Body


The spirit is willing, but the flesh can be a major a-hole

My body and my mind don't really get along too well.  My mind is like the high-expectation asian dad and my body is the failure of a son who never became a doctor and shamed the entire family.  Except instead of my mind wanting my body to become a doctor, my mind wanted my body to play in the NBA.  Another way to describe this destructive and parasitic relationship through memes is that my brain is a scumbag brain and my body is a scumbag body.


My mind likes playin' tricks on me and my body, but this time I teamed up with my mind to pound my body into submission so I could gain some weight for my upcoming wedding.  "Oh, you don't like waking up early?  Let's start waking up at 5:30am to go exercise in the morning before work."   
Then my body retaliates by making me wake up to pee in the middle of the night.
"Hey body, you don't like vegetables?  Well get used to it because we're going to be vegetarian for a few weeks."
Body: "Oh so you're drinking lots of milk to gain weight?  How about some flatulence at the most inopportune times and some liquid diarrhea?"
Mind: "Too bad, I don't care if you're giving me the runs; I'm drinking another liter of whole milk and some ice cream too.  And for good measure, here's an advocado milkshake to deal with that attitude problem of yours."

Mind: "Oh you're too full to eat another bite?  Here's another helping of rice and beans. While we're at it lets eat Carissa's leftovers too."
Body: "In that case I sincerely hope you enjoy the taste of vomit because you're going to be puking it back out pretty soon."

Previously, my body has won every time I've tried to put on weight... until now.  This time thanks to GOMAD, protein shakes, lifting weights, and sheer willpower, I've gained weight for the first time since I was fourteen years old.  It's only about 2kg, but my body has been fighting back every step of the way. If I relent on my diet and workout for even a day, I could find my self back at my original weight.  Just have to keep up what I'm doing now and need to watch out for my body's ultimate counter-attack when it permanently turns off my metabolism and converts all of the fat I've been eating into... well, fat....making me end up like this:




Related Entries:
GOMAD Diet and Exercise Plan -Part 1 | Part 2
Exercising in Singapore

1 comment:

  1. work it! peanut butter and banana shakes are yummy and good for gaining weight.

    ReplyDelete