So GOMAD is an acronym for "Gallon Of Milk A Day", which is an actual diet where you simply drink a gallon of milk a day (in addition to eating a lot and doing some exercise). Some say it's even better than steroids (for skinny people) and that it's supposed to make you go from looking like this:
Ok, so maybe that's being too optimistic, but if you're like me and can't gain weight no matter what you do (as documented by BBC), and you see a harebrained scheme on the internet (which never lies), plus you've got a wedding coming up next year and your girlfriend wants you to look like Thor by then, what do you do?
I hope no fitness nuts ever read this post, because I will get laughed at for even attempting a half-assed version of this diet. Basically, here's what I gathered from skimming a few websites about GOMAD in 5 minutes... one gallon of milk = 2400 calories and 120g of protein, so THAT, combined with working out and eating like mad = Look like THOR on your wedding day.
I quickly realized that a gallon is probably way too much for me.. so the first thing I did was change the diet to a HALF gallon of milk a day (2 liters, 60g protein).. and I supplemented this with 3 GNC whey protein shakes (~60g in total) a day, and tried to eat lots of eggs and peanut butter in addition to eating lots of chicken... at least that was the plan. Also, I hear you're supposed to do tons of squats with barbells and weights--which I don't have access to right now, because I'm too cheap to pay for Jackie Chan's California Fitness membership...hey, if I had tons of money to burn would I even be doing a poor man's workout plan like this in the first place?? So I decided to go with body-weight squats, calf-raises, pull-ups, dips, push-ups, and sit-ups...all the stuff you can do without a gym membership.
So a major mistake was not keeping a record of anything I've been doing. One day I just began drinking milk like crazy . I'm sure I'm still probably not drinking enough milk, the workouts have been inconsistent, and I'm not getting enough sleep.
I used to think my body was immune to lactose, but now I know that that's a lie. After starting to drink more milk each day I started pooping and farting all over the place... and they weren't the quiet, smell-less kind, let me tell you. Kieran can attest to that because I pretty much farted in his face while walking in front of him.
So what was the result? After nearly a month of fudging this diet and not really doing the right type and amount of exercising ... I'm not surprised that my weight has remained exactly the same. People who haven't seen me in a while always say discouraging stuff like "You look slimmer" or "Someone get this malnourished boy to the hospital!!" which is the exact opposite of what I want to hear. So in the end I can't really say whether GOMAD works or not. It does make you fart a lot, definitely.
I guess I'll continue for a little while longer (but probably stop after 2 months at most since other people seem to think the fat from the whole milk will kill me). Oh well, at least Carissa is the only one who thinks I've gotten more more Thor-like, and in the end, her opinion is the only one that matters, even if she's just being nice :)
Update 11/7/11: I just tried some skim-powder milk from Fairprice (100g contains 33g of protein) as a cheapo alternative to whey protein powder ($10 verses $100). I must say it kinda tastes weird to drink 100g of milk powder in one cup and it definitely gave me a nasty case of gas and diarrhea. USE WITH CAUTION!! I can only imagine what would happen if someone who was lactose intolerant tried this.
Scumbag Body vs Scumbag Brain
GOMAD: The Experiment Continues
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